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"Thoughts on Family"

October 12, 2006

The sky at Rollins above the Cornell Campus Center.

The sky is a dazzling blue. Warm sunlight streams from that nearly cloudless vault, tempered just slightly by a playful breeze. The lake sparkles as if an enthusiastic kindergartner had sprinkled its entire surface with glitter, and the grass and trees seem extra vibrant under the sun’s attention. It’s been like this for three days, and I truly pity the many, many students who aren’t here to enjoy it.

Campus becomes a ghost town over Fall Break as students depart for home, to see friends at other schools, or on getaways to the many beaches within two hours’ driving time. But not me. I stayed here and got to enjoy the glorious weather.

A view of the Knowles Memorial Chapel at Rollins.

One may well ask why I didn’t go home, considering that I live only two hours away. Well, I don’t have a car, though that is not an insurmountable obstacle. The bigger issue is that I’m not ready to go home yet. At this point, I’m trying to establish myself as an independent entity, and I feel that if I go home too soon I’ll lose too much ground. Do I miss my parents, my brother, my sister, and my three crazy cats? Sure. Will going home solve any of the difficulties I’m facing as I adjust to being an adult? No, so I choose not to. My way may be the hard way, but it’s the right way for me.

My biological family is very important to me and always will be. Yet I’m also starting to get the sense that I have a “family” here at Rollins. It started a couple weeks ago the first time I passed someone from one of my classes and he said, “Hey, Shannon.” He recognized me, he knew my name, he made eye contact and greeted me. Those two words meant more to me than he’ll ever know: For me, it was a sign that I was starting to belong.

The sense of “family” intensified last week while I had a cold. Dani, my RA, was very motherly, advising me to rest and get plenty of vitamin C. Several of my classmates groaned sympathetically upon hearing my congested voice. Even the cashier at the bookstore wished me better when I went there to buy cough drops. Perhaps these incidents seem insignificant, but taken together they made me feel that there are people here who care about me.

The Cornell Campus Center

I had another “familial” experience just this afternoon, while I was out trying to capture the glorious day in pictures. (If I didn’t quite succeed, my apologies; I’m new to photography.) I was standing outside the campus center, leaning back, my camera pointing straight up, taking pictures of the brilliant sky, when I heard someone say, “Taking up astronomy, Shannon?” I straightened and saw Dr. Cook, my RCC professor, securing his bicycle to the rack outside the post office. I grinned and explained what I was doing. We then had a brief chat that covered Galileo, Spinoza, the gorgeous weather, and my position as an R-Journalist. This probably doesn’t make much sense, but the fact that we could talk for three minutes about things that had absolutely no relation to class further reinforced my sense of belonging to the Rollins community. If I may be so bold as to say so at this early stage, the glossy Rollins brochures with student testimonials claiming that they develop close relationships with their professors aren’t making it up; it really happens.

Mills Lawn

The idea of family has fascinated me for a number of years. While I have yet to figure out why blood ties are so important to our culture, I believe that feeling you’re a member of a “family”—a community—is crucial to both psychological health and personal happiness. I may not have formed any close friendships here at Rollins yet, but I know I will, because I belong.

One final note: Dr. Cook is having my RCC class over to his house for dinner tomorrow night. That really happens, too.

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